Thursday, December 30, 2004

Broadcasting Lifestyles of the Rich and Annoying

Dear Good Charlotte,

Sigh. That's what I do when I think about you, Good Charlotte. Now, I don't really know you that well. In fact, I sort of suspect that there are maybe five guys in your band now, as opposed to four, as the above picture might have you believe. Then again, I don't really know. And I don't know because I don't really like you. In fact, I would venture to say that your quar/quintet is the single reason why commercial music sucks so bad right now. That's right: the reason is neither Britney, nor Hillary, nor even my nemesis, Lohan. It is, in fact, you.

And I say this because, frankly, it's time for you to take some responsibility here. Now, I know you kids have tattoos, and yes, you wear make-up, and yes, for some unbelievable reason that can only point to the coming apocalypse, you have become "friends" (I guess?) with Rancid, of all groups. But here's the thing: you're not fooling anyone. And that is why I sigh. Because it's like you're really, really trying, you know? (Except, to be honest, that one skinny dude doesn't even look like he's trying anymore. He's kinda like, "yeah, give me a lip ring, I'll grow my hair all crappy, but I really can't be bothered to look at the camera. I'll look off over here, in the distance." To that guy I say this: you're not cool enough to pull this kind of shit. Step in line, sucker.) And there's nothing wrong with trying - trying is good! But you're trying in the way that someone's little brother's band is trying: it's cute, but ultimately the brother's band sucks and they quit. That didn't happen to you. I'm not sure why, and frankly, I don't want to waste my time right now trying to figure it out.

So Good Charlotte, I end with this: Did you think it was a good idea to release many, many songs about how alienated you are, and how no one understands you, in hopes of winning over people who like and respect good music? Because you were wrong.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Charlotte....who are these guys? I don't even know any of their songs. Good thing, good Charlotte!


6:14 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give them some credit, man. Think 'contribution to society'. Where would the black hair dye industry be without these guys? I mean, their music may send my into a murderous rage, but it usually lessens to a blind fury when I think about all those poor little children of dye manufacturers who used to be begging on the streets. It's all about the children. Good Charlotte are all about the children.


11:26 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh. What MB said.

1:54 p.m.  
Blogger Couch said...

Makes me think of sad clowns. The ones with a tear painted on there cheek. Depressing at first, and then you realize its just a fucking clown under all the make up and it becomes to damn silly to put further thought into.

12:45 a.m.  

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