Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Sick of myself when I look at you.

About a year ago, I came across:
1) a giant, hard-cover Medical Dictionary, and
2) a giant, hard-cover Symptoms & Remedies Dictionary.

For someone with low-level hypochondria, these books have been both a gift and a curse. I like to flip through them every once and a while to stay on my toes. I know that this sounds like strange casual reading, but in my defense, let's take a look at my medical history:

1) Nail through cheek.









2) Kidney infection








3) Conjunctivitis (a.k.a. pinkeye)












4) Undiagnosed skin rash (non-fungal)












5) Food poisoning















6) Gout
















7) Ruptured eardrum (twice)











I have currently diagnosed myself with diabetes:



















Don't be too upset for me though because:

1) I've never broken a bone
2) I've never had a cavity
3) I am rarely sick









HOORAY!!!

Friday, February 17, 2006

If Bill Kurtis decided to rewrite the US Constitution, I would not protest that.

If you know me, then you know that my favourite non-animated television show is A&E's American Justice.

Right now you may be asking yourself, "why would that be Lesley's favourite non-animated show?"

Give yourself a pat on the back, because that is a great question. And the answer can be summarized in two words: Bill fucking Kurtis.




Awwww yeah! His soothing voice makes examining cases that challenge U.S. constitutional law feel like you're ACTUALLY FLOATING UP TO HEAVEN.



That's how good the show is. And that's how good Bill Kurtis is. He's even written a book which, if you are educated like myself, you will have already read:




Have you ever written a book? Then you may not even be worthy of Bill Kurtis's presence!!!!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

"I think Jesus would appreciate you doing his work a little bit better if you use better grammar."

Like many of you, I am wondering if I will ultimately suffer from eternal damnation. Will I, in fact, be LEFT BEHIND?


To be honest, I always suspected that I had more in common with Kirk Cameron than our mutual crush in 1991 on Leonardo DiCaprio (aka "Luke Brower").





"No, MY ass is more bulbous!"




He's so dreamy!

ANYWAYS...I haven't actually seen this movie...YET.
Or this one:



But it's on my to-do list.

NEXT TIME:

An in-depth look at Harvey Birdman, Attorney-At-Law!




LOOK OUT!